I am at this moment hungry so I am chewing a piece of sugar free gum. I am so hoping that it curbs the hunger pain, really pains. The food is pretty decent, I have had worse… Yesterday, I ate the cream of broccoli soup- I give that 1 ½ thumbs up. The Dutch Chocolate and Orange Cream shakes are 2 thumbs up. The beef stew- 1 thumb. Last night for supper I had 4 oz of sirloin steak and a salad with cucumbers and celery with reduced fat dressing. That was a good meal.
Last night all I dreamt about was using the bathroom! I guess all the times I went yesterday and all the water I drank made me dream about it too. I got up 3x last night to use the bathroom! I was scare at one time I wouldn’t make it! Scary for a woman who has had a hysterectomy! My bladder ain’t what it use to be. It sucks getting older!
This morning I had the maple and brown sugar oatmeal. Not the best, but I have been told it takes a while to get use to the oatmeal. Maybe tomorrow I will try the eggs. Tonight we are having grilled pork chops. I have some asparagus in the cabinet; I will heat that up too. I am sure Annessa and Dewayne will eat something else!
I went to Karate last night and had a good work out. I might go walking this evening with Annessa if it isn’t raining. She needs the exercise too, plus we are doing a 5k in 3 weeks! Yesterday was a safe and good day as far as not having cravings. Today has not been too easy because my co-workers have been talking about food. Leigh had chocolate doughnuts, I looked at them longingly! Can you really look at food longingly? I can! Isn’t that terrible?
I gotta go, I will give the load down tomorrow about what I ate today. God Bless and Pray for me!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
THE BEGNING TO AN END
I am a skinny girl trapped in a big girl’s body. Well, maybe not skinny but definitely smaller than I am at this moment. I am the biggest I have ever been in my life. I have been a big girl all my life and have tried every diet known to man. I have been on WW probably 3 times or more, I have tried Atkins, South Beach, I even been on Phen-Fen. Phen-Fen worked. I lost 80 lbs and gained it all back and then some. But, I was in my early 20’s, partying hard and not really trying to change what I ate. I ate what I wanted just not as much. Portion control. What is that?
I love food, I am not gonna lie. I love the way food feels in my mouth, I love the smell, I love the way it makes me feel when I eat good food. So, maybe I have a food addition. I have no idea; I have never been to counseling. I have been bulimic. I was in the 7th grade. I was a majorette and felt the pressure to be thinner. I was a size 10, far from being overweight. That was also the year that my sperm donor told me that as long as I was fat, I would never be accepted as his daughter. I left his house and have never really spoken to him since. I am now 39. I am sure he would be disgusted now if he saw me. Anyway, at that time, I would get up early, jog about 2 miles, come home eat yogurt, throw up, go to school, not eat lunch, come home, eat yogurt, throw up, eat supper with my family and throw up again. I did this for about 6 months. I got down to an 8 and was still picked on for being fat. I look at pictures of myself from then and think to myself, “Goodness, I was not even plump!”
Today I am embarking on the journey of Take Shape for life. You are eating 5 and 1. All portion controlled. Something I really need. This is supposed to make you want to eat healthy. I am optimistic about this journey. I need this to work. I am afraid that if I don’t loose weight I am going to die. I have a husband I dearly love, a step-daughter that is the light of my life and I want to grow old with them. At the weight that I am at now, I won’t. Surgery is out of the question for me. I know that you can cheat the surgery. I am tired of cheating!So far I have only had breakfast. Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal. Not the best tasting, but I have had worse! I am having 2 shakes today and 2 soups. I will give you the load down on them when I have them.
Wish me luck
I love food, I am not gonna lie. I love the way food feels in my mouth, I love the smell, I love the way it makes me feel when I eat good food. So, maybe I have a food addition. I have no idea; I have never been to counseling. I have been bulimic. I was in the 7th grade. I was a majorette and felt the pressure to be thinner. I was a size 10, far from being overweight. That was also the year that my sperm donor told me that as long as I was fat, I would never be accepted as his daughter. I left his house and have never really spoken to him since. I am now 39. I am sure he would be disgusted now if he saw me. Anyway, at that time, I would get up early, jog about 2 miles, come home eat yogurt, throw up, go to school, not eat lunch, come home, eat yogurt, throw up, eat supper with my family and throw up again. I did this for about 6 months. I got down to an 8 and was still picked on for being fat. I look at pictures of myself from then and think to myself, “Goodness, I was not even plump!”
Today I am embarking on the journey of Take Shape for life. You are eating 5 and 1. All portion controlled. Something I really need. This is supposed to make you want to eat healthy. I am optimistic about this journey. I need this to work. I am afraid that if I don’t loose weight I am going to die. I have a husband I dearly love, a step-daughter that is the light of my life and I want to grow old with them. At the weight that I am at now, I won’t. Surgery is out of the question for me. I know that you can cheat the surgery. I am tired of cheating!So far I have only had breakfast. Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal. Not the best tasting, but I have had worse! I am having 2 shakes today and 2 soups. I will give you the load down on them when I have them.
Wish me luck
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